A Life of Crime Dress

 

Me, about to hang

They told me I looked like an old hippie get-up. I told them that three year old they were sending me off to would never appreciate my mod-ish charm. I forged my own way, my own pattern, and no one can say I'm a suit.

They compared me to my mother, crooked and wrinkled. An old, tired style. I tried to show them how she got straightened out. She sure got the iron hard.

 

I said, "Look at me from the inside! I can be beautiful and pressed! I can stretch  to accommodate the biggest of heads, even yours!"

But words will never work for a yuppie, friends. 
I'll spend my time behind bars.




Linked to:
  http://www.gingersnapcrafts.com/2012/02/wow-me-wednesday-40.html
 http://www.bearrabbitbear.com/2012/02/things-ive-done-thursday-26-31.html
http://mineforthemaking.blogspot.com/2012/03/diy-diva-thursdays-28-fashion-party.html
 http://raegunwear.blogspot.com/2012/02/link-party-what-we-wore-and-made_28.html
 http://www.sewcountrychick.com/2012/03/welcome-to-sew-tell-saturday-here-are.html
 http://thetrendytreehouse.blogspot.com/2012/02/create-and-share-features-too_29.html
 http://brassyapple.blogspot.com/2012/03/make-it-monday-21.html
http://www.marvelouslymessy.com/2012/03/marvelous-mess-53-and-features.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:%20blogspot/Yndm%20%28Marvelously%20Messy%29&utm_content=Google%20Reader
http://sewchatty.blogspot.com/2012/03/made-with-love-link-up.html

The French (Seam) Dress

                                      Une fois, j'ai fait une robe.

                                                         Once, I made a dress.

     Il y avait des coutures à l'intérieur. 

          It had French seams on the inside.

Et de jolies

 choses bizarres comme 

des boutons de coeur  et entrées de serrure et d'un corsage 

doublé.  Parce que les bébés petits apprécient ce genre de chose. Je vous assure.

    And silly, pretty things like heart buttons and keyholes and a lined bodice. 

Because little babies appreciate that sort of thing. 

I assure you.

                              Il avait la dentelle et des rubans               It had lace and layers

                                      et des couches abruptes,                       and sheer ribbons,

                                  l'image de la haute couture.             the picture of haute couture.

   Et une grosse fleur

             pour cacher son visage au cas où elle ne voit rien laid. Parfait.

           And a big flower to hide her face in case she sees anything ugly. 

                                                                                                                    Perfect.






Linked to: http://www.mommybydaycrafterbynight.com/2012/02/ta-da-tuesday-link-party-26.html
http://www.gingersnapcrafts.com/2012/02/wow-me-wednesday-39.html
http://strictly-homemade.blogspot.com/2012/02/strictly-homemade-tuesday-22112.html

The Quilt, Continued!

Due to a request on my last quilt post, I'm uploading some pictures of the quilt stars, close-up.

Before being pieced together, lying on the floor. Wondering, "When will I feel complete?"

This shot is a little grainy, but it most clearly shows the voids they had in their existence. Also, what it would look like if Princess Tiana played Portal.

Those squiggles remind me of pink electricity. What do you think they are?

Here are some of the dress blossoms, opening up to expose their beauty. Ladies, don't try this at home.

And, here's what the fabric looked like before I chopped it up.This is two panels pieced together. That's right you can't see the seam, that's the point. Owned.

 <3 Hannah Jean

Beware, Navel-Gazers

my bellybutton is covered. (By some awesome little shorts)

 Possible captions: I know not what I do.

-or-

I AM LADY JUSTICE

I stopped by a fabric store on the way to my parents' house, and found a slinky little number. It was satiny, it was drapey, and the print was playing with my mind.

 Possibly designed by Rorschach himself

I had extra time after buying the goods, so I stopped by a thrift store to look at patterns. I decided to kidnap this one and 12 of its closest friends for 10(!) cents apiece.

I liked it because of the tap pants, or French knickers as the pattern likes to call them. Because, you know, how often do you get to say "knickers" stateside? Fun word.

Unfortunately, when I came home and started cutting out said French knickers, the Rorschach fabric was severely misbehaving. It wiggled so much that the task of "accurate cutting and marking" became about as achievable as "carve scale model of internet". Things didn't get any easier when I tried to press the hem. It took 3 episodes of Star Trek to press and sew those down by hand. By the time I got to the gusset, I was sick of it. So, I went to the dollar store and bought my new hero.

You are my shining starch

I sprayed that stuff down and made it stiff as a board. I re-cut my gusset, pressed my waistband in half, and ranted to myself about why they wouldn't mention that in the instructions somewhere. You know, like right next to "Suggested Fabrics: lightweight silks and satins" how about, "but starch the crap out of them first or you'll be doomed"

  This is the kind of picture I get when I ask for "no clutter in the background"

I lengthened the leg a few inches to make it less underwear and more sleepwear. Though, I might wear them over tights in the spring if I'm feeling adventurous. I also took out a few inches from center front and back when the pieces grew from being cut on the bias (starch would have saved me). When I was nearly done, I tried them on and decided the back needed some serious re-shaping to get rid of weird poofage. Diaper shorts just aren't sexy, friends.

In retrospect, I should have added more fabric to the inner thigh than the outer thigh. Next time, folks.

Have a great day!

-Hannah Jean

Link Party:  http://www.sewcountrychick.com/2012/02/sew-tell-saturday-211.html

The Little Quilter That Could

My Masterpiece!

Don't be mislead. I am not a quilter. But you know, I have quilted. Because sometimes the call of quick, easy, gratifying projects that won't make you stay up late ripping out seams that were  a millimeter off, or trying to decide whether the next few months of your life should really dedicated to piecing tiny scraps cut out of fabric that was perfectly good to begin with is just no longer alluring.

Supplies.  Not pictured: patience and meticulous precision

"But, Hannah," you say. "Quilting is artistic expression!  

A huge canvas on which to display your talents!" 

Yes, I know. But have you see those pieced stars, twirling around,

taunting me with their copious amounts seams? 

All singing this in unison:

"Oh match us up, Hannah! It's totally worth the extra 8 episodes of Doctor Who!"

Do you know what I told them?

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

And then I wrapped their little bottoms up in a sheet and ribbon and called it a day.

(Want to make a cool quilt like this? Pick up this book. The pictures alone are worth the price, and I'm usually way too cheap to buy crafty books.)

Linked to: http://www.mommybydaycrafterbynight.com/2012/02/ta-da-tuesday-link-party-25.html

UPDATE: For more pictures, visit this post